On 22nd August, 2020 I became a mum to a beautiful healthy baby girl. I was fortunate in that my pregnancy was smooth and my labour and birth was quick. The first time I laid eyes on my baby, I went into a little state of shock as everything hit me as I realised I am going to have to protect this little human for the rest of my life and I will always put her before me.
Nothing can prepare you for motherhood, the hormones, feelings and emotions you will feel as a new mum. I spent 3 nights in hospital buzzing the buzzer for the midwives to come in the room for every little question, how to change a nappy, the techniques of breastfeeding, what does this rash on my baby mean etc because I felt like I had no idea what I was doing. But then what new mum does? It's all learn as you go.
My first night at home with my baby felt so foreign, I couldn't relax and was worrying about whether my baby was full, tired, why she hasn't done a poo! It's safe to say, the first week of having a baby I got about a couple of hours sleep a night. If you asked me how I could survive that before I had a baby, I would say no way as I was used to have 9-10 hours sleep per night, I love my sleep! However when you're a mum, you go into survival mode and somehow I managed with a couple of hours of sleep. Then there's breastfeeding, which is a whole other topic. I had no idea how difficult it would be at the start, the pain, the latching techniques, supply and demand etc. I was determined to master it and you really have to push yourself to make it through those tough early weeks. I am so glad I did though because after a few weeks I started to really enjoy it and the bonding is beautiful.
From the moment my baby was born, she was sooooo clingy!! I would joke about her being a stage 5 clinger but seriously, she did not want to be apart from me. This meant during the newborn period she would only sleep on me for her naps. There was a period there where I still felt like we were one person and I truly believe she thought we were still one person and needed me close at all times. As the months went by and she was more aware of her surroundings and who was holding her, she would only allow me to carry her, if anyone else held her she would scream (including my husband).
Regardless of the hard times during the first few months of motherhood, overall the first year of her life has been an absolutely joy! I feel soooo much love towards this little human who have given my life a whole new meaning. I had to rediscover myself once I was a mother, you become a new identity and feel like a new person. Now she is 18 months and is a walking and almost talking toddler. In the back my mind, I'm always thinking of her every minute of the day. I look at her and feel so much love and it really is like a love that you have never experienced before. I get so excited and proud to see her develop and all the new things she does. My life feels so fulfilled and her happiness will always be my happiness.
I lived in my Sleepy Society sleepwear throughout the early months of motherhood where I spent a lot of time at home. The button up tops made it so convenient to breastfeed at any time of the day or night and it was really important for me to feel comfortable. I also felt beautiful wearing the satin fabric in different colours which made me feel a little bit better about myself while I was going through the identity change. My favourite embroidery is 'Mummy' on the pocket, the title is something that I am proud of and a big part of who I am now.
